Wednesday, June 26, 2013

Hands on the Wheel


I could have been a potter.  I say this every now and then when I think about my life.  There are very few, but specific things I remember asking for growing up that I didn’t get.  Yes, that means I was spoiled.  My parents did their best for my sister and I.  They wanted to give us everything we could have dreamed of.  Growing up I didn’t feel well off, because we shopped at Aldi, had old cars, and our house was small compared to all of my friends’.  Really Kassie?  In retro spec I was so blessed and really was just a selfish child.  Then I remember the two things… The two things I remember wanting so badly and never getting.
I’ve talked a lot about my dad.  He’s a businessman so I call him every five seconds during this whole, start a business process, and he is a huge part of the majority of my life changing moment stories.  I have also mentioned that he reads books.  So when little me asks him for a bunny as a child, he responds by saying that as soon as I read all the books in the library about owning bunnies, that he would buy me one!  “My life is perfect” I thought!  All I have to do is go get some books, read them, and get a bunny!  So little me, with glasses that covered my entire face, got the books.  I read them and studied them.  I can still clearly remember them in my mind.  The one book was all primary colors.  So as I turned each page, the red, blue, and yellow images clearly demonstrated what I needed take care of my bunny.  I studied and read.  I don’t remember exactly how it all went down, but I can tell you this.  I’ve never had a bunny.
I was born in St. Louis, Missouri but moved to Chicago shortly after.  My extended family still lives in MO so you can just imagine all of the road trips back and forth between the two.  Lucky for us, there is this place.  Its called Blain’s Farm and Fleet and its somewhere in the middle of nowhere right smack dab in the middle of our trip.  Its actually humorous how many times I’ve used their bathroom, bought Christmas presents, candy, and games at this place.  For those of you unfamiliar with this store located in the rural Midwest, it is basically an everything store for farmers.  The clothing section comes with a complete selection of overalls, work boots, and wool socks.  Yes, its that kind of store.  Well this magical place also has a pretty sick toys isle.  And one year I found this kids pottery wheel.  OHH I wanted it.  So bad.  To this day, I still want that pottery wheel.  I thought about it all the time.   It was red, blue, yellow and perfect.  I waited and waited until Christmas morning just knowing that mom and dad had gotten it for me!  How could they not?  I only had probably another 100 things on my Christmas list that year!  Well you can just imagine my disappointment on that special morning, when I woke up at 5 am to open presents, and it wasn’t there.  I never got the pottery wheel.  Which is why, when I’m feel sassy, which I usually am, I say to my dad with a little smirk, “I could have been a potter…”
While these childhood experiences have shaped my life so much, I thought I would tell you about the more important wants, and the talks with dad that came along with them. 
I love tattoos.  I’ve wanted one since I was 17 and I was determined to get one.  The only thing standing in my way was a man shaking his salt and pepper hair cover head in my face.  Dad.  Him being a more conservation business man protested the idea often and with force.  At the end of every conversation he would say, until the day comes that I am not paying for you anymore, you can not get a tattoo.  What this meant in my mind, it that I am going to keep asking until he cracks.  Once I was in college, holidays seemed like a perfect time to discuss this.  We would be driving from Chicago to St. Louis so we would be trapped in a car for 5 hours.  He couldn’t escape.  Year after year, I asked.  Year after year, he said no and I would get so mad.  You would have thought he killed my puppy.  Right after I turned 21 I had decided to get my nose pierced.  I thought I had to ask my dad, so I did.  He responded my saying that I was a grown up and I could do what I wanted.  OH HO HO.  I got him.  You know I was about to turn that around and use it against him with the tattoo.  I waited, like any good kid, for them to see me once with the nose piercing so they could get used to it, and then I did it.  I had planned it out so I knew what to say.  Two weeks later I got my first tattoo.  Man I’m good!
Most recently and most annoyingly, I have been in need of a car.  Now this has caused some heated arguments over the last four years between the rents and I.  My sister always had a car in college.  Why can’t I have one?  In my parents mind, I live in a city, so a car was pointless.  But school was in the suburbs.  This meant I have spent the last four years of my life bumming rides off people every time I needed to go to the fabric store, or target, or to pick someone up from the airport.  Not having a car makes me feel trapped.  It still does to this day.  I need space sometimes.  I need to just get out of the city and go somewhere.  I am a grown up!  If I want to drive myself to the beach I should be able to!  But no.  And most recently I was asked to sell a line of clothes at Kembrel, a boutique in Philly.  This means I need supplies.  Which means I need a car to go get it.  And I don’t have one.  It’s the most complicated and dramatic thing in the world.  So last night I called my dad way too late, I knew he would almost be sleeping.  But I didn’t care.  I was mad and stressed and I always blame him for me not having a car so obviously I was going to call him to give him a piece of my mind. 
Dang it that man is just too good.  I hate when people make it hard to be mad at them.  As the phone rang I told my roommate that I was going to fly to Chicago to punch him.  Ya I know, not my best moment.  But I was heated.  He was just so spiritual and all you need to trust God.  And I was all like, “can’t you just became a hitman really fast to make some more money!”  He didn’t think it was funny.  So no car.  Trying to trust that it’s all going to work out.  It’s hard.  If you have a car that you don’t want.  Send it my way.  I won’t protest.  End of story, as I hung up the phone, my roommate asked if I was still going to fly to Chicago to punch him in the face.  My answer… No.  

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